Too Little
by Christiecullen16
Summary: MidNew Moon. When Bella is changed, and does the unthinkable to her own family, she's torn apart by guilt. What happens when Edward finds his way back into her life?
1. Chapter 1

Bella POV

Blood trickled down the front of my shirt, but I was only idly aware of the way the sticky moisture clung to my flesh. All I could think about, all I could focus on, was the horrid fire spreading through my veins, enveloping me in pain I wouldn't have believed existed. I felt myself writhing in agony, and I could feel my voice growing hoarse. I couldn't cry, I couldn't get up…all I could focus on was the simple torture I was being put through. Somebody was screaming so loudly I thought I'd go deaf--at least, I thought so, until I realized that _I_ was the one screeching.

_How long would this continue?_ I thought to myself, as the pain died down. My throat was sore, raspy. Finally, at long last, what felt like a breeze cooled me down--I welcomed it warmly, treasuring every chill, and flinching to myself at the thought of that hellish warmth. And then I lightly touched my skin, expecting more heat…

…but my skin seemed to have frozen over, and my fingertips felt like icicles. I took a while for everything to sink in--for everything to make sense. All my memories seemed like jumbled up puzzle pieces that just didn't fit together. Unanswered questions sprung up in the back of my mind.

Only then did I think of looking around. All I could see, for at least five meters, were trees. Shrubbery and bushes blocking my view. For about five minutes, I sat completely still, aware of the slightest movements in the trees beside me, in tune to every slight movement.

And then, suddenly, several things fell into place. I got up in a flash, too deep in thought to notice just how graceful I was, and dusted myself off.

_I was a vampire._

_And it was Victoria--hateful, feline, deadly Victoria--who had ended my life._

**AN: I'm sorry if this idea seems overused, but I'll try to add as much originality as possible. I'll elaborate on what's actually going on in the next chapter, and update tomorrow. This is my first fic, so please review. Constructive criticism is welcomed, along with positive reviews :-) I want at least one or two reviews before I update. **


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Bella POV

Jake had warned me against leaving La Push while he was on patrol. But every time I idly lounged around at Billy's place, I couldn't help but worry, in the back of my mind, about how Charlie felt, having to come home to a filthy house. I knew he didn't have time to do chores or anything, and I wanted to spend some time at home, doing some housework for him. Just one day, I told myself. What were the odds that Victoria would attack me on the one day that I was vulnerable?

I was very foolish, very stupid. Victoria hadn't made a move in weeks, and I had been lulled into a false sense of security. The fear I had felt when I first realized that she was coming after me had faded away.

So, like an idiot, I went to Forks--where I was obviously susceptible--and began doing some housekeeping, cleaning up here and there, tidying up the place. I had taken the laundry out, and since the dryer didn't work, I decided to hang the clothes up on a clothesline to dry.

When I went outside, nothing struck me as odd. It was a normal, cloudy day in normal, rainy Forks. The air was fairly dry though, and I hummed quietly to myself as I hung the clothes up.

I heard something in the bushes behind me, and I hesitated for a moment before dismissing it as paranoia. I kept working, and never saw my imminent death approaching. Finally, I heard a twig snap and I turned to find out what it was--imagine my shock as I stood face to face with Victoria, her mane of wild hair making her scarlet eyes seem feral.

I dropped the shirt I was preparing to dry and began to tremble. Eyes widening, I took a step back. She moved forward, her eyes curious. "Human," she drawled. "You…I thought the Cullens would protect you. But…" she didn't finish as she stared thoughtfully at me. Then, out of no where, she flashed me a cruel smile. "They're not here, huh?"

When I didn't respond, she only moved closer. I was rooted to the spot. I knew it was pointless trying to run--and my feet felt like gelatin anyway. I knew my fate even before she made her move. She would either destroy me, or turn me. It was simple, and my existence depended on her choice now.

She sprung forward nimbly, letting out a wild growl, and sunk her teeth into my shoulder. I screamed--hoping that she would just kill me now, that she would not allow me to suffer three days of hell.

No such like, unfortunately. I vaguely felt her dragging me deeper into the forest as my transformation progressed. And soon, I felt blinded by the pain. In agony, I screamed, praying to escape the torture. But I knew my hopes were in vain, and as the hours stretched on, I wondered how I could have wanted this for myself--how I could have begged for this torment.

And finally…when the pain stopped, I awoke, ravenous with thirst, only a few meters away from my home…and with my newfound senses, I heard a police cruiser--my father's car--pull into the driveway.

My father was no longer my parent to me anymore. Now, he was just easy prey.

**AN: OK, I just threw in a cliffy. Anyway, I'm trying to make it as interesting as possible…tell me how I'm doing so far. Review! Oh, and thanks to everyone who reviewed so far…it meant a lot to me :D**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, I don't own Twilight.

Bella POV:

Everything happens in a blur when you're a vampire, especially one on the hunt. There's a monster inside of you, that blocks out everything else but instinct--you lose your emotions, your judgment, everything. All that matters is moving in for the kill. You're only vaguely aware of what's going on.

Which is why when I got into the house, fumbling with the doorknob impatiently, I could focus on nothing else but the thought of blood, his blood.

_Kill._

The one word was running through my mind, making everything else--my values, my principles--seem insignificant. I forgot my resolution to be a "good vampire". Looking back on it, it seemed like such a ridiculous goal.

I kicked the door to the kitchen open, knowing that he was in there. The scent hanging around him was maddeningly sweet, almost unbelievably tempting. Charlie looked at me for a moment, his expression somewhere between shock and fear, before hesitantly stuttering, "B-Bella?"

I could take no more; thirst overcame me as I lunged forward. Charlie didn't even have time to scream.

Everything was clothed in a veil of red liquid. That horrible, yet mouth-watering, scarlet blood. My father--or what was left of him--lay on the floor, cast aside once my hunger had been satisfied.

I had been missing for the past three days. Victoria had hid me well. Had she been hoping that I wouldn't be found until it was too late? Either that, or Charlie and the werewolves who were probably searching for me assumed that I had gone back to La Push, and was hiking in the forest or something when I got lost. They had probably been searching for me there. Either way,their efforts had been in vain. And now...

Now that the beast inside of me had been contented, guilt swept through me as I realized what I had done. He wasn't just some other person, some ordinary stranger. _I killed my own father._

That fact hit me hard. I didn't know what I was doing! It wasn't my fault! I childishly made excuses for about two minutes before dismissing them. True, I didn't know what I was doing. But that didn't mean it wasn't my fault. I befriended a vampire and had actually _wanted_ to be one. So I couldn't cast away the blame now that I had gotten my wish.

But still...this was not how I intended my life to be. Bitterly, I sink to the floor. I didn't want to be this inhuman, heartless beast. But what could I do? Besides, the damage was done.

My father, whose only mistake was coming home after a tiring search for his daughter, had finally found her--and she had been his downfall. Because of me, Charlie was gone.

**AN: I didn't want to kill Charlie. It did pain me to kill him. So I'm sorry if you wanted him to stay alive,**** but I thought killing him would be the most realistic thing to do, since Bella **_**is**_** a newborn and all...****but please don't flame me for that!!**

**Well, this is the third chapter. I'm hoping for more reviews. Oh, but THANK YOU SO MUCH to the people who reviewed so far. It's what has kept me going.**


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Twilight series, unfortunately for me, since I don't own anything..._

_Where am I?_

I hear people murmuring about random trivial things, like the weather and if we're going to arrive on time or not. A woman, clearly oblivious that I'm overhearing, notes my "terrible fashion sense" with obvious distaste to her companion.

I idly realize that I'm on an airplane. For a second, I panic about the color of my eyes, but I remember about my contacts and return to my half-dormant state. Emotionlessly, I watch us take off, streaking out into the sky as the clouds become cottony puffs.

Closing my eyes, I try to remember what else has happened within the last twenty four hours. Suddenly, I remember everything -- _Charlie._

The one name sends pangs of guilt throughout my whole body, so that I begin to nervously tremble. The flight attendant, who's passing by, looks down, worried, and asks, "Is something wrong, Miss?"

_Yes,_ I want to say. _I just killed my father. Then, to sustain myself, I killed two other people. Now, I'm going to Italy to kill myself so I don't have to live with the guilt._ Instead, I force a smile and shake my head slowly. "Nothing's wrong," I say, my voice hoarse, yet somewhat silky.

I remember the people I killed. The way they stared at my ruby red eyes before screaming -- I snuffed out their lives as quickly as possible. I shudder, and crawl into a ball in my seat. After I had killed my dad, I had booked two tickets to Italy. And thus, to stop myself from going berserk on a plane, I hunted.

Not animals, though. I had hunted two humans to appease my thirst.

And I remember my father's face--the face I had worried about protecting when James was hunting me, the one who had generously let me live with him--and I wish I could cry. Because every emotion inside builds up, and it's choking me so much that I'm searching for a way let it all out.

But I have to control myself, I remind myself silently. I'm not alone. I'm on a plane. Isn't is best to limit the amount of people I kill? I shouldn't lose it up here.

I remember taking off my blood streaked clothes. I then tossed whatever there was at home on -- a plaid top of Charlie's and a pair of jeans. I had no time to examine myself, to scrutinize my new features -- when I looked into the mirror, the only thing I could see was my red eyes, gleaming warmly after my hearty feeding.

I had smashed the mirror and leaned against the walls, dry sobbing.

The pilot announced that we were going to land soon. Impatiently, I got up and ran at fairly human speed toward the nearest exit. One creepy old guy was ogling me, but I paid no attention to him.

The paved streets of Volterra were filled with busy tourists and townspeople going about their daily lives. I felt slightly envious -- these people could follow routine, and after a hard day of work, go home to their families. I sighed at the thought of that -- going home, relaxing after all the trouble I'd been through.

But there was no way Renee would let me back. If I ever told her what I was, she'd never believe me. And I might kill her, too.

It wasn't sunny, thankfully. The clouds obscured the sun, and for that I was grateful. It eliminated one of my worries -- fretting about risking exposure.

It was cold, and I briskly walked past the stores and to the central plaza. I pushed and shoved my way through, looking for a familiar vampire scent, anything to signify the Volturi. I was getting impatient -- I needed to hunt, and the humans crowding around me didn't help me control myself.

I heard a few people mutter about how rude I was, although most just stared. Whether it was for my beauty or my odd clothes, I didn't know. Frankly, I didn't care.

Finally, I caught a whiff of it -- a scent different from that of the humans surrounding me. I tried to find the source, and found two figures cloaked in black observing me from the shadows.

I strode forward to meet them. "Hello," I said coldly.

They stared back, surprised. The larger one was muscular, very much like Emmett. He lowered his hood, and his eyes rose to meet mine. The other one's hood remained on, and his face was no more than a shadow.

The large one smirked and regained his composure. "And you are...?" he trailed off.

"Bella," I finished for him.

"What brings you here?" the person in the darkness hissed.

"I want to die," I said simply. The bulky one grinned and turned to his companion. They glanced at each other before looking back at me.

"Did you hear that, Demetri?" the bigger one questioned to his companion.

The other one -- Demetri, apparently -- sighed. "Yes Felix," he answered, a hint of amusement in his voice. "The child seems to have a sense of humor."

"Hmph," I muttered. I hadn't counted on them not taking me seriously. I had hoped they would make it quick and cut the chatter. "I'm not joking."

"You want to die?" Demetri questioned quietly.

I let out an exasperated breath. I thought I had made my point pretty clear. "Yes," I grumbled.

Felix looked taken aback before he sighed. "You'll have to take this up with Aro," he began. "We can't make decisions without his judgment...as much as we'd like to."

Demetri looked away from him, and his red irises bore into mine for the first time. For a short moment, he seemed to lose his cold, business like façade. But once again, he turned away. "Come," he said softly, his face indecipherable in the shadows.

**AN: Alright, I'm sorry for not updating in a while, but I had temporarily run out of ideas. But now I think I sort of know where this story will be going, so I'll probably update soon. Review!!!!**


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